جوکهای آموزشی زبان

برای فهمیدن معانی لغات قرمز کافی است ماوس را در روی آنها قرار دهید.

 

 

 

 

 

A Business Loan

 

 

A businessman walked into a bank in San Francisco and asked for the loan officer. He told the officer that he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The bank officer explained that the bank needed some kind of security for such a loan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 So the businessman handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out, and the bank agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan. A bank employee drove the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later, the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 with interest, which came to $15.41. The loan officer said,  "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000? " The businessman replied,  "Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for only 15 bucks? "

Strong like a SILKWORM

A small crack appeared On a cocoon.

روزی سوراخ کوچکی در یک پیله ظاهر شد.

A man sat for hours and watched
carefully the struggle of the butterfly
to get out of that small crack of cocoon.

شخصی نشست و ساعت ها تقلای پروانه برای بیرون آمدن
از سوراخ کوچک پیله را تماشا کرد.

The desperate girl

شعر زیر متعلق به دوست و استاد بسیار گرامی جناب آقای محسن صادقی دبیر منطقه جی اصفهان می باشد که امیدوارم مورد توجه شما فرار گیرد.

once upon a time there was a little girl	روزگاری دخترک زیبایی بود
as beautiful and charming as a pearl	به زیبایی و فریبایی یک مروارید
in her neighborhood there was another child	در همسایگی او دخترک دیگری بود
but so ugly that was used to be riled	اما بقدری زشت که موجب ناراحتی می شد
the two girls grew up anyhow	در هر صورت هر دو دختر بزرگ شدند
one pretty and nice another I will tell you how	یکی زیبا و قشنگ و دیگری را خواهم گفت که چگونه
the first one an angel so to speak	اولی چو گویی همانند فرشته ای
but the latter on the ugliness peak	اما دومی در اوج زشتی
one won many lad's hearts in the town	اولی قلب بسیاری از پسرک های شهر را ربوده بود
another more akin to a circus clown	و دیگری بیشتر شبیه دلقک سیرک بود
one had blue eyes and blond hair	اولی چشمان آبی و موی بور داشت
another with a monkey you could compare	و دومی را می توانستید با میمون مقایسه کنید
one was svelte and sylphlike	اولی باریک اندام و زیبا بود
another had a long neck as a pike	و دومی مانند نیزه (اردک) گردنی دراز داشت
one was the belle for moneymen	اولی دلارام سرمایه داران بود
another wasted her life cleaning a pen	و دومی عمر خود را صرف تمییز کردن اصطبل می کرد
the pretty girl married a goldsmith	دختر زیبا با یک مرد زرگر ازدواج کرد
like an imaginary enchanting myth	مانند افسانه ی فریبنده ی خیالی
but the ugly one who could not bear	اما دختر زشت دومی که نمی توانست تحمل کند
another heart rending nightmare	کابوس جانسوز دیگری را
she went to the church and entered the belfry	به کلیسا رفت و وارد برج ناقوس کلیسا شد
her life was in a dungeon and she wanted to be free	زندگیش در سیاهچال بود و او می خواست که خود را برهاند
she threw herself down to the yard	او خودش را به پایین پرت کرد
prognosticating suicide was not very hard	پیش بینی خودکشی برای او خیلی سخت نبود
at the eleventh hour she did bawl	در لحظه آخر عمر او با صدای بلند داد زد
that the weakest goes to the wall	که انسان بیچاره همیشه محکوم به شکست است (هر چی سنگه مال پای لنگه)

Short Stories for Low Intermediate ESL Learners

Short Stories for Low Intermediate ESL Learners

New to America

A Haircut

The Yardman

Grab Your Umbrellas

Shopping for Bargains

Horses to Ride

Does Garlic Mean Garlic?

A Shower Injury

Pete's Sharp Knife

Provider Overbills Customer

A Good Sandwich

Sara’s Upset Stomach

Please Marry Me!

Laundry Day

A Noisy Neighbor

The New Realtor

The Fire Alarm

Eddie's Short Visit

Carbon Monoxide

A Visit to Asia

School Boys

The Loose Button

The Pile of Paper

Brushing and Flossing

Raising the Kids

A Clean Toilet Bowl

A Love Letter

Spock Saves His Dad

A Bird Attacks

A Daytime Robbery

The Motorcycle Rider

The Breakup

Famous Model Dies

Shopping Carts Everywhere

Four Slit Throats

Trick or Treat

A Jealous Girlfriend

Towns Hit by Snowstorms

Another Jealous Girlfriend

She Loves Her Son

The Doctor’s Exam

Hospitals Can Make You Sick

English Is So Hard

Hollywood Stars and Tourists

GEICO’s TV Lizard

Law and Order in LA?

Destruction of Iraq

Have You Seen This Man?

LA Traffic Report

LA Radio News

The simple truth

متن ترانه‌ی مشهور The simple truth ) حقیقت ساده)

از کریس دی‌برگ ترانه‌سرا، گیتاریست و خواننده‌ی بزرگ انگلیسی

ترانه‌ای عمیق و انسانی که همه‌ی ما را به تفکر وا می‌دارد. این آهنگ  در سال‌  تلخ و ظلمانی 1988 برای کودکان آواره‌ی کرد عراقی خوانده شده و گویاتر از هزاران خبر و تحلیل است.

 

 

 

The simple truth

Chris de Burgh

 

A child is born on a battlefield,	کودکی در میدان جنگ به دنیا آمده است
A soldier boy falls to his knees,	سربازی زانو می‌زند
And a woman cries in joy and pain,	و زنی از شادی و درد می‌گرید
When will we all live in peace again?	چه گاه دوباره در صلح خواهیم زیست؟
A child is born where the wild wind blows,	کودکی به دنیا آمده آنجا که باد وحشی می‌وزد
In a country torn from the south to the north,	در سرزمینی که از جنوب تا شمال تکه تکه شده
And a family runs from day to day,	و خانواده‌ای که روز به روز می‌گریزند
When will we see our home again?	چه گاه دوباره خانه‌مان را خواهیم دید؟
When will we see that simple truth,	چه وقت  به این حقیقت ساده می‌رسیم
That the only thing that's worth a damn,	که جنگ، تنها سزاوار لعنت است
The life of a child is more than a forest,	جان یک کودک از جنگل مهم‌‌تر است
The life of a child is more than a border,	جان یک کودک از مرز مهم‌تر است
Could ever be;	آیا روزی فراخواهد رسیدکه اینچنین شود؟
A child is born in the desert sun,	کودکی زیر خورشید صحرا به دنیا آمده است
A tiny life has just begun,	زندگی کوچکی آغاز می‌شود
And a mother cries for her hungry babe,	و مادری برای کودک گرسنه‌اش می‌گرید
When will I feed my boy again?	چه گاه به کودکم غذا خواهم داد؟
A child is born to an ordinary home,	کودکی در یک خانه‌ی عادی به دنیا آمده است
East or west, it could be anyone,	شرق یا غرب، هر کجا می‌تواند باشد
But we all want to know,	اما همه می‌خواهیم بدانیم
Will my child survive to see the day,	آیا کودکمان زنده خواهد ماند تا روزی را ببیند
When we will be secure again?	که دوباره در امان باشیم؟
When will we see the simple truth,	چه وقت  به این حقیقت ساده می‌رسیم
That the only thing that's worth a damn,	که جنگ، تنها سزاوار لعنت است
The life of a child is more than a forest,	جان یک کودک از جنگل مهم‌‌تر است
The life of a child is more than a border,	جان یک کودک از مرز مهم‌تر است
The life of a child is more than religion,	جان یک کودک از آیین مهم‌تر است
The life of a child is only a heartbeat from eternity,	جان یک کودک، تنها تپش قلبی از ابدیت است
We must believe, for the sake of humanity,	ایمان بیاوریم، به خاطر انسانیت
We must believe...	ایمان بیاوریم...

When I born, I Black

http://hassanrouhi.blogfa.com/

 

این شعر متعلق به یک کودک افریقایی است که نامزد دریافت جایزه بهترین شعر سال 2005 شد

 

When I born, I Black

 When I grow up, I Black,
 When I go in Sun, I Black,
 When I scared, I Black,
 When I sick, I Black,
 And when I die, I still black.

 

And you White fella,

When you grow up, you White,

When you go in Sun, you Red,
 When you cold, you blue,

When you scared, you yellow,

 When you sick, you Green,
And when you die, you Gray

And you calling me colored??

 Sunny Global,

 

Time to Get Up

Time to Get Up

 

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Get up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal.

Time and Love - Story

Time and Love

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived:

Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. All the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed.

 She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.

Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked Richness, "Can I come with you on your boat?" Richness answered, "I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere."

Love then decided to ask Vanity, who was passing in a beautiful vessel, for help. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please." "I can't help you," Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."

Next Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but I just need to be alone now."

Then Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, "Happiness, please take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time," Knowledge answered. "But why did Time help me when no one else would?" Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

LOVE In Famous Sayiny

 

Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's
called falling in love, because you don't force
yourself to fall, you just fall.

~ Unknown ~

 

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,
but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.

~ Unknown ~

 

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone,
an hour to like someone, and an day to love someone...
but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

~ Unknown ~

 

Some Interesting Limericks

Some Interesting Limericks

 

The limerick is a humorous, nonsense verse consisting of a triplet and couplet, which results in the person creating a five line poem.
Often, limericks begins with "There once was" or "There was a."
Lines 1, 2, 5 are the triplet and rhyme; lines 3, 4 form a rhyming couplet.

 

1.     There was an old lady from Clyde
Who ate forty apples and died
The apples fermented
inside the lamented
and made cider inside her insides

لطفاً ادامه مطلب را کلیک کنید.

100 Kisses

One person wrote a letter to his wife: "Dear Sweet Heart, I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart" His wife replied back after some days to her husband: "Dearest sweetheart, Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1. Milk man was agreed on 2 kisses

2. Teacher agreed on 7 kisses

3. Our house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses of mine

4. Vegetable and food shop keeper was not agreeing with kisses only, so I have given some other items to him ...........

5. Others 40 kisses.

Please don't worry for me, I have balance 35 kisses and I hope I can complete this month. Shall I plan same way for next months?

Please advise,

Your Sweet Heart

 

The mercy of Allah

The mercy of Allah

 

A man woke up early in order to pray the morning prayer in the mosque. He got dressed, made his ablution and was on his way to the mosque.

 

On his way to the mosque, the man fell and his clothes got dirty. He got up, brushed himself off, and headed home. At home, he changed his clothes, made his ablution, and was, again, on his way to the mosque.

 

2nd time, on his way to the mosque, he fell again and at the same spot! He, again, got up, brushed himself off and headed home. At home he, once again, changed his clothes, made his ablution and was on his way to the mosque.

 

On his way 3rd time to the mosque, he met a man holding a lamp. He asked the man of his identity and the man replied "I saw you fall twice on your way to the mosque, so I brought a lamp so I can light your way." The first man thanked him profusely and the two where on their way to the mosque.

 

Once at the mosque, the first man asked the man with the lamp to come in and pray morning with him. The second man refused. The first man asked him a couple more times and, again, the answer was the same. The first man asked him why he did not wish to come in and pray.

 

The man replied "I am Satan."

 

The man was shocked at this reply. Satan went on to explain, "I saw you on your way to the mosque and it was I who made you fall. When you went home, cleaned yourself and went back on your way to the mosque, Allah forgave all of your sins. I made you fall a second time, and even that did not encourage you to stay home, but rather, you went back on your way to the mosque. Because of that, Allah forgave all the sins of the people of your household. I was afraid if I made you fall one more time, then Allah will forgive the sins of the people of your village, so I made sure that you reached the mosque safely."

 

Think yourself about it's purpose.

 

ترجمه در ادامه مطلب